I don't know about you guys, but for about the last four years, I've reflected at the end of the year about what that year has taught me. This year is most certainly not different and I feel like I may have learned a hell of a lot more this year whether I enjoyed going through the process or not. So, without further ado, 2023, here's what you taught me.
I finally, FINALLY learned how to survive without the constant presence and reassurance of a man in my life and narrow down exactly who and what I want for my future. If it's not cool with you - ✌️ I've always had this.... we'll call it a flaw, from the time I was about 18 that I could not be without some kind of attention from a guy(that might sound bad, but it's not what y'all are thinking I'm sure). It stems from never being noticed in high school, my best friend at the time was always the one getting asked to dances and on dates, so once I finally started getting noticed, I won't lie, it was nice to be noticed for a change. I get it now though and it's stopped being fun. I want to be noticed everyday by the same person in a way that no one else has ever noticed me before. But for now, I'm perfectly content with my books, my kids and my cats.
Friendships have been hard this year. While I've made it a bigger priority to get together more often with a group of girlfriends, I'm still at a loss as to why things have to be planned and we can't just call each other up on a random Monday night and say, "let's get dinner just because I want to see you!" Or, "let's have a night in with wine and Friends reruns!" No crisis, no emergency, no special occasion, but just because we miss each other. Is it just me? Do people even still do this? Maybe it's because I'm the only unhappy one in my group of girlfriends? Someone enlighten me please. But also, no one get upset with me. I still love all of you! It just seems to me that in general, everyone is so busy and our priorities are all wrong. I'm guilty of this at times as well.
Another note on friendships from the year - I lost some longtime friends this year, but learned some lessons in the process. Lesson one: know what you have when you have it. Don't take it for granted. Don't say things you don't mean. Speak truth, always; never contradict yourself.
Lesson two: apologies don't always work. Righting your wrongs don't bring people back into your life. If someone wants to be in your life, they will find a way to be in your life. Don't sit and wonder what YOU did wrong, it may not have been anything that YOU did at all.
The last few months of 2023 definitely taught me many things and helped me grow in many ways. I never thought I'd have to teach my boys at the ages of 10 and 7 how to grieve so many losses at the same time while also trying to grieve them myself. I think that's been one of my hardest tasks as a parent thus far. How do you help your kids through something that you yourself have never gone through? How do you reassure them when you really have no idea what's going to happen next? How do you explain to them that they have to move AGAIN and you don't know when they will get to move back home? How do you explain to them that they have to say goodbye to their pet because others were too careless?
Being displaced from your home is very much a struggle, no matter how long you're gone. You can say you're settled after months of being in a temporary place, but knowing it's not home is actually very depressing.
I won't say I'm happy for 2023 to be over because there were a few good things that happened, such as starting this blog and a few new friends made, which I'll think back on and smile. However, I will be the first to gladly welcome 2024.
I'd like to encourage you all to reflect on what you might have learned this year and share it in the comments and I'd like to leave you with this:
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