Sometimes One Person Changes Everything

Friendships are hard as adults. Have you ever been victim to a friendship falling out? Maybe you know why. Maybe you don’t. Maybe you were the cause. Maybe you weren’t. So many of us have been in this boat, myself included and it’s not a boat I want to travel on again. There was nothing fun about this boat. Recently I read in Here For It (The Good, The Bad and The Queso) that this is going to happen in our lives and that there actually is a lot of good that can come from the bad of the situation.

From elementary until a few years after high school, I had the same two close friends. We did everything together, told each other all the secrets. Our paths all started going different directions, which doesn’t have to mean the end of a friendship. However, in this instance it seemed to cause a bit of a shattering.

I can’t say exactly when or why it happened, although I have my theories but what I do know is how much of a heartbreak it is to be pushed out.

I’m also very aware when I wasn’t included.

Aware when I never got a response.

I’m aware they probably said some things about me behind my back.

Aware I was putting in more effort than them.

But at least now I know.

I’m still standing though and the reality is, ‘sometimes you don’t know who your sisters are until there’s been a shaking.’ Think of it this way, now you’re ’free to expend your energy on something else that’s actually ready to grow.’

Speaking of growing - The first time I met Sarah - four kids in tow, frazzled and a hot mess - she handed her visually impaired son off to me for a play date in a hurry and said, “here’s some money to get him dinner. I’ll pick him up around 9.” That’s when I knew she was in my life forever! I needed her and something about her (probably the all too familiar frazzled mom look) told me that she needed me. Turns out, we both needed to find each other desperately!

Everyone needs to find something like this in their life!

Find yourself a friend who you can laugh until you pee your pants with! (Most of us moms might not need much laughter for that though. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️)

Find yourself a friend that doesn’t get offended when you do her dishes to help her out.

Find yourself a friend who understands your tears without a word.

Find yourself a friend who still finds time to help you out when she likely doesn’t actually have the time.

Find yourself a friend whose children love and trust you just as much as you love and trust them.

Find yourself a friend who will be straight with you without tearing you down.

Find yourself a friend who isn’t afraid to be authentic with you and be at their worst.

Find yourself a friend who will be spontaneous when one of you decides to take a random trip or get a random tattoo.

Find yourself a friend who you would literally go to the ends of the earth for to ensure she has every happiness she deserves. ❤️

I’m happy to say, you can’t control other people. Stop questioning your self worth and searching for approval because in the end, their actions belong to them. Stay aware but don’t get offended by these people. See things but don’t take it all to heart. Get really good at letting people be themselves and do what they’re gonna do. Get EVEN better at controlling yourself.

You are in charge of you, put your effort into the friendships that put effort into you!