The Dating App Debacle

Y'all, raise your hand if you've actually met someone online and dated them long enough for it to be a legit relationship. Okay, okay, I know there's probably quite a few people that have met this way and gotten married and lived happily ever after and all that sappy bologna. Hell, my brother and sister in law are a prime example. Here's my issues with these dating apps.

Issue One: They ALL advertise that they are free right? Yeah, sure, they're free to download. so once you download and spend about 20+ minutes entering in all of your information and making yourself a profile, that's when they get you! That's when they tell you, "please pay for a monthly subscription for $49.99 in order to see who "likes" you." Or "please get a subscription for $39.99 so that you can chat unlimited with those that you match with." I mean, is that really necessary? Especially when the majority of the people you chat with ghost you after about 2 days anyway.

Issue Two: Now, the one thing I do like about those apps that require me to pay is that they pay better attention to where a person is located at. We're all aware that Facebook has a dating "app" built into their mobile app correct? So, it's kinda nice because you can see who you have mutual friends with and you can browse based on common interests and groups that you're in. Facebook, however, pays ZERO attention to that little 'Distance' option they give you to choose from.

When I say that I want to see men that are no more than 15 miles from me, please don't show me men in Tennessee, Iowa, Arkansas, Indiana and Kansas. That will not do. It especially will not do when I look at their photo first, see that I enjoy looking at their face but then realize that I will never be near them. #fail

Issue Three: SO many men are always putting in their dating profiles that we women need to "stop using filters" in our pictures for our profiles on dating sites and "just be natural." Can I tell you how many filters I've seen on men's pictures lately on these dating profiles? Come on guys, if you're going to use a filter, at least don't use one of those Snapchat ones that makes your eyes look all sparkly. Oh, and no man has skin THAT smooth.....ya filtered! #caughtya

Issue Four: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT have a picture of you holding a fish or a deer or any kind of animal that you've recently maimed and think you need to show off on your dating profile. I think it's wonderful that you'd be able to feed me should the grocery stores run out of food, but if you currently have one of these photos, please do not send me a like. Thank you.

Issue Five: The Gym Selfie. Again, I'm super proud of you for working on yourself and doing the whole gym/workout thang. More power to you because I have no motivation for that. I'd rather eat cookies and ice cream. Mmmmm, I could go for some mint chip right about now. Sorry, I got sidetracked, no matter how great your abs and arms might look, that's not what's going to attract someone to you for the long term. Rethink those pictures dude.

Honestly, I think there should just be an app for single parents that are dating where the kids do the choosing. I was talking with my boys over the weekend and they were asking all the things. If I was getting married again, if I'd have another baby(hard no.) Dawson wanted to know that because when I was pregnant with him, Jace wanted him to be a girl so he could have a sister, so when I said I wasn't having anymore babies, Dawson says, "well how will Jace get a sister?" I told him, "I guess I'll just have to date someone that has a daughter and Jace will get his sister." Then they both went on a tangent about what they would do if a man I dated hurt me or just so happened to turn into a burglar. I gotta say, it was pretty brutal, but entertaining. I love how they are protective of me now.

But seriously, kids should choose some dates for their single parents. I bet they'd do a much better job than we would.